The Dark Detective
by Lady Athena Lionfire
Summary: When a familiar body turns up on Arnold's autopsy table he's beyond shocked, even more so when he finds out that person isn't really dead. Who is the dead girl and how did she die? A/H eventual pairing.
1. Chapter 1

The Dark Detective

Chapter One: In which A familiar face makes the blood freeze

Forensic Pathologist, it conjures up a lot of things in a lot of minds, to some it is a dark career spending your days with the dead, to others it is a fascinating medical field. For Arnold Shortman it was a chance to solve the ultimate mystery, death, delving deep within the body to find out what had caused the bright spark of life to be extinguished. He knew that his family and friends had thought it a strange and morbid career but he had ignored their warnings and forged a path in the field earning a reputation for his meticulous autopsies and also his drive.

At the age of 28 Arnold was asked to work as a police medical examiner, he accepted, his love of mysteries had found a new outlet and in many respects he could imagine himself to be a detective. The job paid well but for the young man who was still so optimistic and enthusiastic the money was an added bonus, he had found his way in life and was content.

A twelve hour work day was not unusual for Arnold, the city of Hillwood had its usual share of deaths natural and not and only one Path lab this often meant that Arnold and his team of three men and two women worked long hours in order to ensure that families could bury their loved ones in as short a space of time as possible.

It was eight o-clock when the body was brought in, glancing through the file Arnold read the basic report on the unknown female, late twenties to early thirties found dead in a boating lake in the outer suburbs of the city. No signs of being attacked, probable cause of death, drowning. Scrubbing his hands at the sink he tried not to let the young woman bother him, he saw a lot of bodies on a daily basis and many were younger than him self. He supposed, as he rinsed his hands with hot water, that it was because she was almost his age and he considered himself too young to die, he pitied the poor girl's family, whoever they might be.

Pulling on latex gloves he adjusted his scrubs and turning towards the table where the body lay pulled back the sheet that the lab assistants had covered the corpse with.

A fictional mystery novel had once used the term 'his blood froze in his veins' and at the time of reading it Arnold had laughed because your blood couldn't freeze in your veins without you being dead and even then it congealed unless you maybe stuck the body in a freezer. Of course the latest scientific studies on the subject had shown that at times of extreme panic and anxiety your blood could start to clot, which proved a link between anxiety patients and heart disease. Staring at the body on the table Arnold suddenly understood what the strange phrase meant, he also knew with a detached clarity that came with such a shock that his blood had almost certainly started to clot.

Laying on the table her skin a mottled white, her lips blue and her long blonde hair a tangled mess lay Helga G Pataki.

The next ten minutes were a blank and when he roused from his shock he found himself staring at a cup of coffee blankly whilst his fellow workers watched him anxiously, in his relatively short but majestic career he had never shown such emotion upon receiving a body.

"Arnold, what's wrong, who is it?" Swallowing the now almost cold coffee Arnold tried to order his thoughts, who was she, that woman lying on the table as if sleeping, who had she been?

"She was my friend, we went to school together." There was so much more to Helga than that, she'd been his bully, his tormentor and then almost over night his friend and then for the longest time she had been a mystery he just could not solve. One night during their weekly game of checkers Gerald, sick of hearing the endless soliloquy on the enigma that was Helga Pataki had poked Arnold in the head and said,

"Why don't you just ask her out and be done with it?"

"_What_? No, Gerald you have it _completely_ wrong, I don't like Helga that way she's my friend." Gerald had raised an eyebrow and in an almost delicate manner stolen one of Arnold's counters.

"I am so _completely_ unconvinced."

"Whatever, Gerald." The topic had not been brought up again and Arnold had not asked Helga out, he was almost completely certain she would have turned him down flat anyway.

"Her name is Helga Pataki; she's 29 and lives in Hillwood."

"_Helga Pataki,_ the fantasy writer?" He looked up startled, Helga had published her first novel in college and had received utmost praise for her writing style and the portrayal of her heroine a love sick girl who went through hell and back again to aid the boy she loved in solving a mystery only for him to fun off with a sweet girl they grew up with. Arnold had read the book as soon as she had lay it into his hands and had been impressed with his friends imagination, the romantic hero of the tale a dopey but good hearted young man was oblivious to the girls almost obsessive love and it had caused many incidents that had Arnold laughing out loud as he read the book in his shared dorm room.

"Yeah that's her. I didn't know you knew her work?" Marie Higgins, a tall, slender brunette nodded sadly,

"I _loved _her work, she was _amazing_." Was, the word brought home that Helga, his tormentor and his closest friend was dead, fighting back the tears that sprung to his eyes Arnold took a steadying breath and standing moved silently to the autopsy table. Pulling the sheet back over the body he motioned for his assistants to put it back into refrigeration.

"I can ask Dr Rossman if he wants to take over." Marie said, shaking his head Arnold removed his gloves and threw them into the bin not caring if they missed, beginning to pull off the gown covering his scrubs he said hoarsely,

"I'll do it, tomorrow. Tonight I have a family to visit." Ignoring the dubious look he was getting from his staff he exited the lab making his way to the changing room where he changed into his street clothes, a pair of faded blue jeans and a black long sleeved shirt. Fastening his sneakers he stood feeling a hundred years older and so very tired.

Pulling on his coat he exited the building not paying attention to his surroundings, ignoring the people who spoke to him he found his car in a daze and then drove without knowing what he was doing to the house he had not visited in years.

* * *

The house had not changed since Big Bob had left four years previously; Helga had been unsurprised at her father walking out and had been scornful of her parents having lasted much longer anyway. Despite her harsh words Arnold had been woken up at three in the morning by her tapping on his skylight, he had held her as she sobbed and finally she had fallen asleep in his arms, it was the first and last time he had ever seen her vulnerable side and though a piece of her puzzle had slid into place it only revealed more pieces.

Getting out of his car he stared up at the house remembering the few times he had visited as a child and then the Friday and Saturday nights spent watching movies in the den, eating popcorn and laughing until their sides hurt. As a teenager he had dated very rarely, never lasting more than a few weeks until he was back with Helga in her house, if he barely dated Helga dated even less seeming oblivious to the admiration of her male peers.

Finally raising a hand he knocked on the door and waited, dreading the moment when he would have to explain the reason behind his visit.

The door opened with a groan and a pair of slippered feet appeared in view, raising his eyes to the face of the person opening the door he felt his eyes roll back in his head and he dropped to the floor in a heap.

"_Mom, help_!"

"What is it honey?" Frantically the woman knelt beside the unconscious form of Arnold and felt for a pulse,

"It's Arnold; he's collapsed on the stoop!" Miriam Pataki, still attractive though she was in her mid fifties pulled the door open wider and gasped in surprise at the prone form of Arnold,

"Do you think he's sick?"

"I don't know doi, help me get him onto the couch,_ jeez_ he's heavy, c'mon Football Head wake up!" Staggering under the weight of her childhood friend Helga Pataki finally managed to move him onto the couch in the den.

"Jeez Football Head you _really _know how to make an entrance _don't _you?"

* * *

A/N: I do not own Hey Arnold…no surprise there really.

I'm putting Endgame on hiatus because I just can't make it work for me, when I try to write it goes badly. This story is almost fully formed in my brain, almost.

Helga both dead and not dead, crazy! Look out for Chapter Two of The Dark Detective…next chapter will be much longer don't worry.

Review please and be nice, honesty is fine just don't be mean, maketea not war!


	2. Chapter 2

The Dark Detective

Chapter Two: In which hysterical laughter leads to hysterical tears.

"I'm dead?" Arnold bit the inside of his lip, Helga had been repeating the same few words for nearly twenty minutes, it seemed he had underestimated how freaked out she would be. Though admittedly he had had a similar reaction. He was still embarrassed about fainting and knew once Helga snapped out of her weird trance she would tease him mercilessly about fainting.

"I'm dead?"

"C'mon Helga snap out of it, you're not dead it was just a misunderstanding." Helga blinked slowly and Arnold couldn't help smiling, she was stunned into almost silence, not something he had ever experienced with her. True to her nature as a writer Helga had an opinion on everything, she had once commented that the day she didn't have something to say was the day she gave up writing. "Looks like you're giving up writing." He teased and Helga's head snapped up rapidly,

"I have something to say _bucko_, I'm just saying it repeatedly and with stunned emphasis!"

"My bad, seriously, the girl just _looks_ like you but its obviously just a case of base similarities which on my next examination will disappear, when I look at her again she'll look _nothing_ like you!" Helga looked doubtful and Arnold didn't blame her, it hadn't just been base similarities, if he were a more paranoid person he'd be thinking she had been cloned. Nodding Helga straightened up and ran a hand through her shoulder length hair, absently she brought a lock to her lips and chewed the end before Arnold pulled it out of her mouth. "You'll get split ends and spend the next month whining about having to get it cut." He commented, rolling her eyes Helga rubbed her neck with a weary sigh,

"Why can't you just for once visit my house to say hello, its always, 'Helga, I autopsied your old dentist' or 'Helga, did your dance teacher always have a missing toe' or 'Helga, you're dead!'"

Rolling his eyes Arnold said patiently, "I've told you you're dead once, besides, you _wanted _to know when you knew people I autopsied."

"It wouldn't kill you to visit occasionally."

"_I'm busy_!"

Raising an eyebrow Helga folded her arms across her chest and said defiantly, "Obviously not too busy to tell me I'm dead."

"Are you _still_ going on about this?"

"It's somewhat important to me if I'm alive or dead Arnold, I'm sorry you don't feel the same way." Staring at his best friend Arnold watched as her lips began to twitch and she burst into peals of laughter, finally after staring at her for several moments he joined in, it felt good to laugh after the shock of thinking she was dead.

"I'm glad you can both laugh about this but I don't see the funny side." Miriam had taken the news better than Helga, after confirming the body wasn't Olga she had taken a logical approach and assumed the girl was just one of the many young women with blonde hair and similar features. However, she was concerned as to who the girl actually was and how she had died.

"Sorry Ms Boulivier , I'll perform the autopsy tomorrow and send off for dental records and a D.N.A analysis. The initial police report was drowning, she probably slipped and banged her head, a sad accident."

"The poor girl, so young." Arnold nodded awkwardly, at first glance he would have thought the girl his own age and he didn't consider himself so very young, not that he was old, he knew if he even hinted that thought to Helga she would deck him on the spot, like most women she was bemoaning the fact she was nearing thirty and had yet to meet a man she could marry, or who would marry her. He thought the last comment a little odd, he knew a whole bundle of guys who had the hots for her, surely one of them given the time would want to marry her, he ignored how the thought of her marrying made him grumpy, that was clearly his selfish need to keep Helga to himself, she was his best friend and if she married someone he couldn't hang out whenever he wanted. Even in his own head it sounded weak, he just wasn't going to analyse it any further, not yet.

"You'll let us know who she is won't you?" Miriam asked and Arnold shrugged,

"I can't see the harm in that."

"I want to see her." Helga said abruptly and Arnold looked at her in surprise,

"Not a chance."

"C'mon Arnold, I have a right to see my clone." He hadn't even mentioned his off the cuff clone theory, clearly Helga was reading his mind again.

"No."

"Arnold!" Helga was using a wheedling tone, he knew what was going to happen next, she'd use the eyes on him, she'd push out her lower lip and widen her eyes, looking up at him like he'd kicked her puppy, and then he'd cave.

"Okay okay just put the eyes away." Grinning wickedly Helga stroked his cheek soothingly,

"Aww Arnold you're so weird."

"Yeah yeah. I better head out, I still have work to go to tomorrow." Saying his goodbyes Arnold left the house after giving both women a warm hug and promising to see Helga at ten am sharp so she could view the body. He knew that come the following morning when Helga would not so unexpectedly become hysterical upon seeing the body he would regret agreeing to let her see it, of course they both knew he couldn't deny her anything. Upon her own head be it.

**

Arriving home he fixed himself a turkey salad sandwich and wandered into the living room to eat, his apartment was small but clean and the furniture was relatively new thanks to his wage being rather ample and Helga's insistence on him buying something decent. His decision to move out of the boarding house had been obvious after the death of his grandparents, the building, though his much loved childhood home was no place for a bachelor despite the numerous single residents. Bringing home a girlfriend under the watchful eyes of the lovable yet nosy and often infuriating tenants would be social suicide especially if they were to bump into Mr Kokoshka who had often attempted to bum money off his dates. Grimacing as he took a bite of his sandwich Arnold washed it down with a swig of beer, moving out had been the best decision for everyone. The boarding house had been supplied with a superintendent who was in charge of collecting and depositing the rent into the bank, fixing anything that became broken and generally acted as a building manager. Arnold paid his wage and provided him with a room for free. The man's wife cooked and cleaned and was also paid a wage, their daughter lived in Arnold's old room much to the envy of her friends who had visited and seen the sweet set up. Though he didn't have a business degree Arnold had managed to turn a nice profit from the boarding house and after employing several people to get the old building up to code he found that each month he was spending less on fixing the plumbing and was able to save a nice amount. Fixing the place up properly had also been Helga's idea, he had been unsure at first if it would be worth the massive cost upfront, as it worked out, it was. The question of who the girl was one that would hopefully be answered in time, if she was a citizen of Hillwood she certainly had not gone to their school, with such a startling similarity to Helga she would have been well known to their group of friends and certainly no-one had mentioned seeing the clone around town. The clone, he probably should stop calling her that, Helga's voicing of his own private thoughts had seemingly only cemented the nickname for the Jane Doe lying in refrigeration in the morgue.

A sudden thought had Arnold digging in his pocket for his cellphone, sliding it open and scrolling down he pressed dial and held the Nokia to his ear waiting for it to be answered,

"_Speak to me darling_."

"Rhonda, its me, Arnold."

"_Arnold, how are you my angel?_" Rhonda Wellington-Lloyd had come into her inheritance at the age of 21, though her parents were both alive and well it was customary to set up a trust fund and Rhonda's had made her a multi-billionaire and had put her in the spot light, something she used very much to her advantage. Eclipse Fashions housed not only Rhonda's well received designs but showcased designs for upcoming new designers, though she had her main business offices in New York, Rhonda worked primarily in Hillwood stating that home was where the heart is and her home was Hillwood. She was also the person to go to for information about anyone.

"I'm fine Rhonda, listen I need a favour from you."

"_Speak to me._"

"Have you ever heard anything about Helga having a double?" There was a pause and Arnold heard muffled commands on the other end of the line, finally Rhonda spoke again and her extravagant act was gone replaced with a Rhonda only close friends got to see.

"_A double, what's going on?_"

"A girl came in today, God, Rhonda, she was identical to Helga, a drowning victim. I freaked out completely, went round to Helga's Mom's house to be greeted by Helga."

"_Oh you poor dear, that must have been traumatic. Is Helga okay?_" Shifting the phone to his other ear Arnold stretched his legs out planting his socked feet on top of the coffee table, taking a swig of beer he made a murmured noise of acquiescence and finally said,

"She's okay, shocked but okay. She wants to see the body."

"_That sounds about right_."

"I don't know who the girl is, I mean surely someone would have mentioned bumping into a girl identical to Helga?" There was a long pause and Arnold took that to mean Rhonda was thinking, finally she spoke again almost making him jump,

"_Could she be Gloria?_"

"Nuh uh, Gloria didn't look that much like Helga." Besides, Gloria had moved to California in their freshman year of high school which ruled her out, unless by a weird twist of fate the girl had returned to her home town only to die. Somehow that seemed too coincidental.

"_Are you _sure_ she's totally identical?_"

"Positive, Rhonda you didn't see her, I'm Helga's best friend and she had me totally fooled."

"_I suppose. Hmm, leave it with me I'll ask around. Arnold, does it really matter that she looks like Helga, after all the real Helga G Pataki is alive and well and probably using this as inspiration for a new novel as we speak, which reminds me, you do _realise_ its nearly midnight, right?_"

"So, you weren't asleep were you? And yes, it does matter."

"_Of course not, the night is young, but you my friend have work in the morning, go get some sleep sweetie I'll let you know what I turn up, ciao darling_." The phone clicked and Arnold stared at it for a moment before sliding it shut, Rhonda would find something out, very little got past her and as it stood, she was right, he really did need to go to bed. Standing he stretched, wincing as various joints popped, moving into the kitchen he dumped his plate into the sink and tossed the beer bottle into the trash. Beginning his nightly routine of checking things were unplugged and doors were locked he stopped in the living room and for a moment could only stare at the frame photo of himself and Helga. It had been taken one winter two maybe three years previous, Arnold had his arms around Helga a stereotyped couples pose, except they weren't dating and if he remembered correctly Helga's boyfriend at the time had been stood to one side looking pissed at their show of affection. That relationship had ended not that long after, it wasn't surprising really, no men or women could handle how close they were, usually it ended with accusations of feelings or even with them being lovers, the closest they had ever got was a new years kiss that ended as quickly as it started with Helga joking he was a crap kisser. Arnold had risen to the occasion and planted on on her leaving Helga startled, breathless and pink cheeked, even then she had finally commented that if he could kiss like that why was he still single?

Truthfully, it had been a great kiss, better than anything with girls he had had some feelings for but the fact it was with his best friend had stopped anything happening. With any other girl he would have pursued the feelings, Helga was different though, if they broke up their friendship could be destroyed and it was much too precious to lose.

Shaking the feelings off he flicked the light off in the living room and made his way into his bedroom, stripping to his boxers he collapsed onto the bed and for a moment lay perfectly still, wrapping his arms around a pillow he buried his face in the soft cotton and sobbed letting all his pent up grief flood to the surface.

End chapter two

A/N: Don't hurt me, this took way longer than it should have done. Uni kind of got in the way, I had four essays to be done within four days of each other so I had to spend well over a month solidly working on them. Then Christmas happened and I've been catching up with my sweetie and family, I've taken time out between revising to bring you chapter two.

Rhonda makes an appearance and Miriam has a new name, Souchie, I wasn't sure if Miriam was ever given a maiden name so figured the surname of her voice actress would do. If someone can give me an actual name mentioned in the series I'll change it straight away, as it stands this will do.

Fainting and sobbing, man Arnold hasn't had a fun night has he?

EDIT: Somebody kindly filled me in on the well hidden detail of Miriam's maiden name being Boulivier, I have no idea where you people find out this stuff but awesome, thanks for the help! It is much appreciated *love to you all* I did attempt to verify this detail myself but couldn't find anything, I'm gonna trust Hellerick Ferlibay who gave me the info, thanks my friend!

Oh, I still don't own _Hey Arnold_.


End file.
